OCT 12, 2009

Long weekend spent nibbling and trying to diet. Friday was fine, as was Saturday. Saturday night was a dieting fiasco. Let's see dinner out with friends at the best Italian restaurant in town is not a place for a dieter to be. Sunday was relaxed, normal day, no special foods. Did cheat at dinner with Pasta. At 1/2 of the portion, but still 250 calories or more. Total for the 2 day weekend, lets say 3000 calories. Way over the 2000 I want to ingest, but not 10,000... Back on track now, with coffee and some water. Will think about lunch at 2:00 when it rolls around. First really cold weather today, and my balls froze and squealed. Warmer now in the restaurant. I might have to splurge and get a coat...
Later

OCT 8, 2009

No doubt that last nights dinner was not really diet friendly. It was not off the charts bad, but too many calories. I had Moo Shu Shrimp. no sauce, wrapped in thin pancakes. Bascially Shrimp, veggies and the crepes. I loved it. Spicy, not wet, and delish. I figure about 500 calories of food total. Then a couple of sugar free fudgies, and I was good to go. Fell asleep on the couch after the Yankee game was out of reach, and got up this morning. Took a shower, which I must say is now up to an art form. (Not for the squeamish now) - I get in the shower, grab my toothbrush which is in the holder, and add the toothpaste which is on the tub railing. I squeeze out the toothpaste, shove it into the mouth, and brush. No big deal so far. I turn on the water, turn to get wet everywhere, and pickup the soap. Wash all over, do the shampoo thing, stand under the warm water, and wake up. Granted, no big deal here, but I am in the dark completely, as the light would shatter my REM sleep at this point, as it is 4:10 AM. Shaving begins, still in the dark, as I lather and shve with three blades of death, ala Helen Keller. I finish, emerge from the shower, dry off and do the deodorant thing. Now the #2. Too much chinese food, and it is pooping time. I sit and begin. For those that dont know, if the body is going from 6000 calories a day to under 1000, pooping is a weekly thing. Unless cheating on the diet, you can count the weekly poops on a few fingers. This morning's poop counts for a hand, an arm and the toes worth of counting. Not a mess, not particularly stinky, and nothing painful. The length was the question. It came out, and like an Anaconda, coiled itelf into the bowl. How did I know you ask. As I felt it flow through my innards I knew I had done something that I have never felt before. As Jimmy (I named it) left me, I made sure to not break it, hurt it, or squeeze so hard as to snap it in a multitude of pieces. A whopper of a poop. I wiped, flushed twice, it left the house in stages, and revele in my glory. Cleaned, vacuated, and ready for the new day...

OCT 7, 2009

Got on the meat scale at the restaurant today. Accurate, digital, and I don't use a scale at home,so this works. Today would be the 8th short day of the change in eating. Definitely not as severe as prior attempts. I now know that the difference between 200 calories a day and 1000 per day to my body is nothing. I lose weight more intelligently at 1000, more rapidly at 200. Going smarter this time. It is not for everyone, but it works for me. No breakfast craziness, not eating white things, just foodthat is healthier. For lunch I will have some tuna today. Dinner might be eggs with Turkey Franks, or maybe some Moo Shoo if delivery is coming to the house. Last night, some Babaganoush (Egpplant puree) and a big salad (oil and vinagerette). 4 sugar free ice pops and 2 handfuls of fat free popcorn. I figure under 1000 calories, and I was never hungry. OK, we all agree that week one is water, fluid, waste and puss that drops off you quickly when the sugar stops and the flour is removed. So it is no surprise that for week one I dropped 25 pounds of crap. Fully clothed, same as before. My face looks better, the tire around my waist looks the same. I am sleeping through the night, albeit on the couch as that is where I usually doze off. No real food cravings, although a steak would be lovely. Can't have that since the Porterhouse incident in September. Briefly, I shared a Porterhouse with the wife that was drenched in butter. Only $105 for the shared steak, the heartburn I mistook for a heart attack was priceless. No rush to the hospital, I rode it out for 3 hours of scared pain, sucked down 3 Tums, and was good to go. Not happy or smart, but I have learned. Busy day in Food as Wednesdays and Thursday are normally.
They are diggin up the street, and I took this Blackberry photo of the wife..
What do ya think of the car she wants next

OCT 6, 2009

There is a certain loneliness in not eating. Socially speaking, festive nights, restaurants, diners, meals out of the house, are all occassions to hang with friends and family. Taking all the food out of the equation usually leads to keeping the social time out of your life. I am not saying you can't sit at a meal and pick at a salad or something, but the integration of eating less into a usually sociable person is a bit of work. Last night I set directions for the child to take dinner out of the fridge, put it into a pre-heated oven, and timed it for it to be ready when the child and the wife were ready to eat. Knowing that my rules would never be adhered to, even in something simple, I waited for the meal to be served under cooked. I gave the meal instructions to allow for a lot of errors. I knew the oven would not be pre-heated as instructed and I knew the ice cold premade meal would go from Fridge to oven with no time to get to room temp. So a cold, under cooked meal was enjoyed by the wife and child. Once again, not listening at all doesn't help. My wife tried to blame me and the instructions, but as a cook, in the restaurant business, it is hard to get that point across without ridiculous laughter. Don't get me started on her "job" search and the lack of a resume. I have decided to finally not get involved at all. No need to fight, add my opinion or be mocked for actually supporting this group. Tonight, I will attempt to do what the wife has done. Let it go, not care about the future, and let the chips fall. OK. Here we go, I will try my best. My rants 2 years ago about all this, chronicled here, and my fear of an overweight, unhappy, unemployed, un educated 19 year old have all come to fruition. Being right about all this is not that great. Let's see what they do next.

OCT 5, 2009 2

It was a small, darkened theater, in a small, darkened town. Financial woes, both in the neighborhood and in her home were always in the forefront of both lucid moments and her dreams. Vodka, distilled in middle America, not the foreign stuff, soothed her spirits, warmed her body, and clouded her vision. Meeting him today, freeing herself of the monotonous life she that she had fallen into, was a welcome relief. She should have purchased the flavored stuff, as the potato feel of the $4 per bottle solvent that she was sipping grew bitter. She thought about getting a soft drink, to mix with the libations, making festive what was now becoming medicinal. The popcorn was a welcome addition, although it might have been produced during the Clinton administration. Mushy, musty, and every now and then an old maid, reminding her that she was actualling turning into a kernel in not so many words. He sat down, oddly dressed in bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and his fading denim trench coat. Getting stopped on the street because you resemble a pedophile is never good, and today's ensemble did nothing to stop the thought that somewhere an 8 year old boy was hiding in a wall, waiting for Daddy. They acknowledged each other, glanced nodded a mutual approval, and he wedged himself into the tight theater seat...

OCT 5, 2009

Weekends are tricky for the Fat folks like me. Wait a sec, let me rephrase that. Weekends are great for fat folks. Food not so much for dieters. A weekend without better eating habits was a continuous orgy of eating. Friday night dinner out, into Saturday morning diner breakfasts, lunch at Chili's, snacks on the way, dinner out on Saturday night, brunch on Sunday after a quick breakfast at the diner, into Football snacking all day, finished with Chinese delivery and Ice Cream and snacks picked up at the supermarket on Sunday morning. I explain the past, so as to not repeat it and to show myself what gluttony was. I am following the same weekend now, just not eating everything withing inches of my mouth. Eating can make you happy. It is not supposed to obviously, but it does. So this weekend, in the midst of the plan, I enjoyed a weekend that was great. Friday night we had food delivered from the local Middle Eastern place. Chopped Green salad for me, with 3 ounces of Babaganoush (Roasted eggplant). Topped off the days eating with 2 Sugar free 40 calorie Fudgsicles and I was good to go. Got up Saturday morning ravenous. Went to the diner for breakfast. I had Iced Coffee, 2 scrambled eggs, and some chopped onions and peppers. No toast, no bagels, and no potatoes. Very tasty, probably way too much grease and butter, but I was filled. Immediately, and I mean immediately, I was on the throne. Got rid of everything in a hurry. The day continued with Irish Day downtown. No Zeppole's, no Bangers, no Cheesesteaks, no shots of Jaeggermeister, and no Pizza. We walked, we bought some sweatshirts for the wife, and we spoke with friends. I had a light beer at one of the bars, and I wanted so much more. Dinner was Chinese food delivered. I chose the Moo Shoo Shrimp, dry with no sauce, extra spicy. About 5 shrimp and a crap load of veggies on a plate. Definitely not Lap Band eating or Gastric surgery eating, but the knowledge of what I should do is there. Ate well, 2 more sugar free fudgies for dinner, and the Saturday that would normally be 5000 calories was now 500 - 900. I figure that real excercise should begin in two weeks, after the first 30-40 lbs are dropped. Sunday was kinda dull, with a trip to the Supermarket, and a relaxing day of putzing around and football. We did go to Minnesota's because it was a gorgeous day, to have some outdoor brunch. Weather will turn soon, so we make the best of it. I enjoyed lettuce cups with spicy ground chicken and veggies, followed by a crabcake. Picked at the crabcake, but loved the lettuce cups. Dinner was take in Italian. No Fettucine Alfredo with a side of Pizza for me. I had a chopped salad with some grilled chicken in it, and balsamic vinaigrette. More sugar free ice pops. I figure at best I had 3000 calories this weekend. A big drop from the 15,000 I used to have. It has been a full week, as of tonight that is, and I love how I feel. Since I am not starting from a crazy point, the success is noticeable right away. The loss of the fluids, excess water and puss and crap just floating around makes the face tighten up and look good. It will be a long journey, but I will get there.

OCT 2, 2009 2

I was reading my past posts for the year previous. On November 6, 2008, my wife's 18 year old daughter left our home in the middle of her Senior year. Problems all over, and the child knew it all. I wrote that she would be back, no sight of college, and a damaged future. I was right again. Trying to fix the problem now, with lots of rope, gifts, and an opportunity for her to have a future. So far, she has not taken the bait. She states that she works part time, sometimes for 12 hours in a whole week, at the mall. She has said that she worked part time at a tanning salon, 15 miles from our house. She has said alot, and my wife is thrilled and loves it. I see through the bullshit and fear not only for the child's future, but for her dependency on my wife and I for the rest of her life. The question is should I step in, sit them down, and lay it on the line, or just let it go and let my wife enjoy having the child back. I have seen the future, and it is not pretty for me. Clean house, new look, back on a serious diet, and avoiding interaction with the child again. Only 11 months after her leaving and telling us to fuck off, she is back, telling me basically to fuck off.. I need some Chocolate soon...

OCT 2, 2009

We redid alot of our house over the past three weeks. Mainly, we hired a friend to paint. First part of the plan. I figured we would paint, remove the old carpet and put in flooring, get some new furniture and couches, and then get the child a new puppy. Seems that in my absence here the wife's now almost 19 year old daughter has returned home. Long involved story, but the child is out of school and works very little part time. Things are better than they were, but there is work to be done. So the plan was simple. What actually transpired was different. We leased the child a Toyota Tercel. Large chunk of change down, and small monthly payments for 38 months. Insurance, a whole other story, but that is not my department (I thought). The next step was the painting. The wife picked some colors and we went to Lowe's for the paint. Great beachy tones, a fresh start (get it) and all would be great. Somewhere along the way to discussing actual painting with the painter we detoured to the purchase of the puppy. Not in the plan as far as order of operations, but I am not in charge. So the dog is in the house, with the blind jack russel and they slowly are getting along. Puppy wants to play, old blind dog wants some damn peace. Painting is now done, and somewhere along the way after moving our King sized bed away from the wall in the bedroom to paint, the wife decided we should get a Queen sized bed for aesthetics and closeness. New bed looks great, sleeps with me in it not so much. Floors are next, as soon as I can get ahead of the new bills, and figure out how to finance the floors. So we have a beautiful home with fresh paint, new stuff going on walls soon, floors coming, and absoluttely no trees in sight. We purchased window blinds also. Not for every window, but a big dent of them are done. With the olive green and the soft blues, the wife wanted 2" wooden levolors on the windows. 14 windows, at alot per window, is a work in progress. Let's all guess which room has no blinds, until this weekend that is. The master bedroom. If I could sleep on the mattress with the new pillows and the cramped quarters, the bright new moon shines anyway straight in. Not great at all. And by the way, the wife decided at 3 this morning to put the puppy in the bed. After 3 minutes of getting facially licked and nipped on, she took the puppy to the living room. At the same time, she put the blind dog in the bed. So I am in the uncomfortable bed, with a blind 13 year old Jack Russel that wants to also lick everywhere to get comfy, and its 3:15 AM. Only an hour left until the alarm goes off. I scrap the sleeping thing and take a shower. At my desk now since 6:45... Sleepy, hungry, a little cranky... Later

OCT 1, 2009

All the trees are officially gone from my block. Fixing the streets, sidewalks, etc causes the town to knock them down. Kinda reminds me of photos of neighborhoods that are hit by bombs.



Had some eggs last night. Around 700 calories for the day total. It's Thursday, sipping coffee.. Only 150 more days before this really starts to pay off...
A little depressing, but optimistic that this will not only get me on the correct weight track but improve my overall health before I need a thoracic surgeon. I love the big words...

SEPT 30, 2009

The trees are gone now. I had coffee in the morning and for lunch an 80 calorie light and fit strawberry yogurt. I feel just as full as if I ate a Porterhouse with some taters. Not really hungry, and focused a little... Later

SEPT 30, 2009 2

The town of Long Beach,NY in their attempt to modernize the streets, plumbing and services of the town routinely rip up clumps of streets at a time. They have 4-6 month plans, razing the streets, the sidewalks, the pipes, sewage and of course, every tree. Where do the squirrels go ???

SEPT 30, 2009

Forget cathartic or life reaffirming. Not eating is not fun. Day 2, and I miss the action of eating. I miss the food, the love it brought and the excitement of the next meal. So I am a little insane and crazy, but I can reflect and say I miss the eats. Yesterday I enjoyed coffee, diet pepsi, water, more water, chicken consomme for lunch, and a chopped green salad with oil and vinegar for dinner. Topped the day off with 2 sugar free fudgsicles and who knows, I might have had 800 calories. Today, some coffee and the eggs are screaming at me. Top of their lungs, hoping I get the line cook to whip some up into an omelet and warp it snugly in a thin flat bread or on a toasty bagel. A little cheese, some salt an pepper and I would be good to go. After eating it I will be hungry. Sounds odd, but the ingestion of the 600 calorie breakfast of pork fat, pork products, unborn chicken babies, cow urine turned into cheese and a bagel of suspicious origns will actually make me hungrier than I am now. Assuming it is a blood sugar thing, I find that not eating works for me. I know the pros, the cons, the surgery stuff, the success and the failure. I know about diabetes, leg thrombosis, clotting, lack of exercise and stress. I know it all. Today is day number two and I have chosen not to eat the sandwich. Lets see how the rest of the day goes...

SEPT 29, 2009

I forgot how much fun it is to not eat. No egg sandwiches, no great pasta lunches, no dinners out. Just cool water and some broth as the plan begins. Didnt explode, just time to start over.

SEPT 29, 2009

Got up this morning motivated. I hope it lasts all day, maybe into tomorrow. One day at a time I guess. Coffe and water, some broth for lunch right now..
Days of wine, roses and food are over for a while.

FEBRUARY 26, 2009 AFTERNOON

In my family I would think if you won the lottery you may get a card of congratulations. If you won an award maybe an email about a year later. If someone or something dies, they all email and call. It's a good thing, don't get me wrong but it is kinda dysfunctional. Heard from my sister in India and my brother in Manhattan and my parents. Sister in California, not so much, but miracles are rarer than dysfunction. All in all the gym has helped me a lot in only five days. I am walking better already and my joint pain is gone. Sore from hard work at the gym rather than lack of movement. Reading a lot also and writing while the new life goes forward. Will splain more tomorrow

FEBRUARY 25, 2009 MID MORNING

Yesterday was tough. I kept looking at the couch for my pal, and she was not there. I tossed and turned all night, tried to get warm, but the big hairy kid was gone. She is in a better place I supposed, although life a the Klein house didn't suck. Elvis the wonderdog, 12 years old and a spry terrier, senses a difference. More food for him and a lot more attention. Still lonely for a blind dog in the house all day. He will be fine. Got to the gym after having the Raisin Bran. I might try to BBQ tonight. Pretty weather for late February.  Didnt need the $500 burial fee, but that is the cost of a big dog I guess. More later..

FEBRUARY 24, 2009 AFTERNOON

The first difference is the quiet. I opened the front door after going to the gym this morning and the greeting was something I will take time to get used to. Stillness, no noise at all, and then a little pitter patter of Elvis' terrier paws on carpeting. He moves with the grace of a nursing home resident that is arising from the morning nap. No sudden movements, no bellowing hellos just the noiseless patter of his paws. He is not sure what is different today. Something is missing and something is off but his blindness can betray him at times. The subtle odor is still in the air but he knows there is a difference. I went to the kitchen and cut his roll in half and filled it with have the egg salad I bought for lunch. His morning treats sat on the floor and he just then started to enjoy them. Finishing the lunch prep I brought the feast to the couch. He looked around for his big sibling and realized he was going to eat alone. No sharing, no growling and all for him. He was happy to eat alone but realized then that he wouldn't have to share anymore. We will miss Morgan and we are thankful that our big girl passed painlessly this morning after 10 great years of loyal love. I miss her so...

FEBRUARY 23, 2009 MID MORNING

Got up to continue the start of my life as usual but with some new focus on getting really fit once and for all. I showered and got dressed into gym stuff. Had two ounces or so of Raisin Bran with some skim plus milk and a bottle of water. As an aside its 11:45 and I am hungry. Lunch at 1 today. I dropped off Sue at work and went to the library. Computer there until I get a new one for the house. Did what I had to for ten minutes then went to the bathroom. I swear I go everytime I get there. Picked up a Sandford book too. Left and got to the gym at 10. Walked on the treadmill for 40 minutes then tried the elliptical. Managed ten minutes and got some water. Hopped on another treadmill for 12 minutes and now I am waiting for the 12 appointment I have with Steve the trainer. I get one free orientation class here and have decided to take it now. I want to know their opinion of how to make the most of my time spent here. That is at noon and then I will go home for some lunch. Picking up sue tonite and back home for dinner from last nights chicken parm leftovers I made from scratch. Normal food in small amounts. I slept a little better last night and hope it continues. And for the record Thanks again Judy and Marty for the support. As always my parents rock. More later as the Blackberry is easy to use with the reading glasses.

FEBRUARY 21, 2009 MORNING

If given the opportunity to take 6 months off, to get in excellent health and become mentally fit without burdening your family would you do it ? The government has pledged weekly income for a year and will cover most of my health insurance. The wife's income plus annual bonus coupled with this and a little frugality can afford me a unique, once in a lifetime chance. Rather than waste the opportunity why not get healthy, lose the weight in earnest and really make a life change while not stressing about commuting and work ? The options are to continue the stressful search for a better career in this crazy world or to let it ride, still search without crazy pressure and get fit. I realized that I can do anything in NYC in the sales field as long as I am presentable. That means a further slim down in earnest, toning, and the ability to comfortably wear a suit or just dress well. Unfortunately as presentation is important wouldn't I be better served and more helpful to my economic prosperity if I looked and felt great. The question remains if this is fair and fiscally responsible. If I have a heart attack or fat related illness won't I be in worse shape than I am in now ? So I have almost reached the decision. My plan is simple. I will get up in the morning and walk the dogs and straighten the house. I will walk or bike ride to the gym which is 4 blocks away. I will do a NYSC tested cardio regimen with weights and jogging. No fads, or crazy, just healthy and long term. I will walk from there to the library at noon, another 5 blocks, and continue the online job search and stay current with my industry. If something comes up that I can do well, then I will take it. I will eat a sandwich or protein shake that I bring from home and return to the gym for afternoon excersise. From there I can bike or walk home and prepare dinner for the wife and I. No real expense to live having cut out the wasted money on food and with no travel costs. By June I will be in much better shape and able to continue the search. I am not advocating a year of this but a few months to get my crap together to make the next half of my life better is the best investment I can make I think.

FEBRUARY 2, 2009 MORNING

It was August 1975, and I had a brand new Panasonic Receiver with really big speakers, 8 track plater, turntable and a new cassette machine that I was learning how to use. My bedroom at my father's house was small and makeshift and wouldnt be expanded for two years until I was going to move in permanently. That is another story and for another time. Reception on the receiver was great, even though I was in the basement. There were no cell phones, no cable TV, no satellites, just a 12 year old boy and his Panasonic. It was big, brown, and had dials galore. Sound, bass, treble, level, all the bells and whistles. If I turned it loud, the house would shake. It was late that summer evening and my parents were out. I cooked some franks in blankets, in the oven of course as toaster ovens and microwaves were yet to appear.

Took my feast downstairs, turned on WNEW and got ready for my future. Live on the radio, with no commercials, an event I had been waiting all week for. Live at the Bottom Line, Bruce Springsteen and his band. The first song was 10th Avenue Freezeout, a melodious arrangement that showcased Clarence Clemons and Roy Bittan. I listened in awe. It spoke to me, it moved me, and I knew the future of music was in this man's hands. Last night, as 200 million watched, Bruce Springsteen started his 12 minute set with 10th Avenue Freezeout. There were 250 people at the Bottom Line that night and only a few of us believed. 34 years later, seems everyone is catching on.....